Free Reviews:
With the final Season 7 of Game of Thrones soon upon us let’s take a
quick look back and recap the incredible journey that some of our most beloved
characters have been on since the first season when it aired in 2011! My God
they were so young! Just in case you’ve been living under a rock somewhere,
Game of Thrones is a HBO TV series based off the A Song of Ice and Fire books
written by George RR Martin. In a nutshell it’s a medieval style fantasy drama
with lots of boobs and murder (probably gonna have to skip the boobs though to
make it Youtube safe) where different families vie for power over the kingdom
of Westeros. Also there used to be all sorts of magic and dragons about 300
years ago but things have been pretty standard traditional since then. Lets Go!
In the far far north where its real cold, soldiers of the Night’s Watch, come
across a gruesome scene of murder and encounter the living dead along with
supernatural creature called a White Walker – Regarded as Little more than legend
and tales to frighten children this is pretty bad news, so this guy deserts and
heads South of the wall. …Where he’s immediately captured by the men of
Winterfell (also still in the North) The warden of the North and the guy in
charge round here is Ned Stark, he’s basically a real solid guy who follows the
rules and takes responsibility but is oblivious to this incredible threat from
beyond the wall because he’s too busy dealing with his family. Him and his wife
Catelyn have 5 kids, Robb the eldest and Heir to Winterfell, Sansa who likes
cakes and sewing, Bran who loves to climb stuff, Arya who’s the Tomby and
Rickon who’s not really important. Oddly despite being such an upstanding bloke
Ned also has a bastard son called Jon Snow who Catelyn hates even though he’s a
good kid. Also Ned’s in charge of looking after another lad called Theon
Greyjoy. He’s a real prick. Now don’t worry if they all look the same and you
can’t tell them apart it’s not that important just yet. Out and about they find
the corpse of a Stagg and a Direwolf with a litter of 6 living pups that are
adopted by each child, with Jon getting the albino quiet one. Meanwhile down in
Kings landing the hand of the king, i.e. the guy that does the actual work has
died, and so King Robert Baratheon travels up to Winterfell to offer the
position to his old brother in arms Ned. He brings his Queen and her family
along who are all a bunch of Lannisters. The Queen’s twin brother Ser Jaime,
her other brother Lord Tyrion, Her Kids Prince Joffrey and young Myrcella and
Tommen, some a more complex but for now you can just assume they’re all a bunch
of assholes except Tyrion. To make things worse Catelyn’s sister Lysa was
married to the former hand of the king, and she receives a letter basically
saying he was poisoned by the Lannisters. But no proof for now so with a few
snide remarks everyone plays nice over dinner and most of them go out hunting
together the next day. We’re gonna come to back that. Now across the narrow sea
there is a completely separate story going on. You see King Robert took the
throne from the Mad King Aerys Targaryen, and two of his kids are kind of on
the run in exile. Cruel Viserys and his uber hot sister Daenerys. I can say
that about the show version because the actress is over 18, in the books it’s
not cool. Basically Viserys is gonna marry Dany off to a savage warlord king
called Khal Drogo, all of which is made possible by this rich merchant called
Magister Illyrio, so that they might take advantage of Drogo’s huge mounted army
in the future and retake the Crown in Westeros. Dany’s wedding gift include
some fossilised dragon eggs and when she gets married she’s pretty much
terrified of this new culture which makes this seem horribly rapey. Right so
back over in Westeros up at Winterfell most of the 2 families, the Starks and
the Lannisters are out hunting but Brandon stays at home to climb stuff because
it’s his favourite thing to do. But unfortunately it turns out that when
nobody’s about, Queen Cersei and her brother Jamie like to bang each other!
Bran sees everything. Jamie decides to keep the incest secret by pushing Bran
out the window but the kid doesn’t die, he just goes into a coma. Everyone is
real sad about this apparent climbing accident although Tyrion does have to forcibly
convince Prince Joffrey to not be shit and go offer his sympathies. And Cersei
and Jamie feel super awkward about the idea that Bran might yet live. Ned
Sansa, Arya and his guard are heading South with the King to join him as the
Hand in King’s Landing, while Catelyn stays to look after Bran and Rickon with
Robb put in charge. Jon can’t go so instead he decides to head North with his
uncle Benjin and join the Night’s Watch on the wall to defend the realm from
wildlings. Jamie gives him some shit for this but he’s really only telling it
how it is, and Tyrion decides not to join the rest of the Lannisters down South
immediately, but go take a look at the wall himself on a tourist visa. Jon
gives his favourite sister Arya a small sword called Needle and says bye to
Bran despite Catelyn’s frosty reception. He asks Ned about his real mystery
mother but Ned promises to talk about that next time they meet. Ooo Yikes. On
the road North Tyrion gives Jon some good advice on seeing things how they
really are
Game Of Thrones - Season 1 Review
because the Night’s Watch is also made up of criminals given a second chance on the Wall and its gonna be a hard life. Blimey although the view should be pretty good. Back at Winterfell an assassin turns up to finish off Bran but his Direwolf protects the boy and kills him. Catelyn is now totally pro-wolf and the Starks deduce that Bran must have seen something in the tower that nearly cost him his life. The assassin’s knife is a high quality Valyrian steel blade and seems to lead back to the Lannisters, so Catelyn decides to travel incognito to King’s Landing to warn Ned. Speaking of which, as the King’s party make their slow way back down it becomes apparent that sweet prince Joffrey really is a piece of shit who bullies a common boy to show off and after taking a knock ends up in a rage swinging at Arya, threatening to gut her. Nymeria her Direwolf thinks otherwise of the situation but the problem is that you can’t bite a Prince these days without consequences. Later that night Joff lies to everybody about how it all went down and Sansa, who just wants everything to be nice and pretty keeps quiet and doesn’t back up Arya’s version of events. Cersei demands the wolf dead but Arya already made Nymeria run away so Cersei makes Ned kill Sansa’s wolf instead! What the fuck! Also that common boy gets slaughtered by the Prince’s own bodyguard, the Hound, but we’re more sad about the wolf. Heading out from Pentos over in the Grass sea, Dany seems to take strength from her stone dragon eggs whilst…God that’s not okay come on! And as the Khalasar army journeys about, Viserys and her are joined by a banished Western Knight called Ser Jorah Mormont. Dany starts to learn the language a bit and has a bedslave teach her ways of lovemaking to help her relationship with Drogo. This actually works and she starts to feel a bit better about things when she’s on top. Ned arrives at King’s Landing and Jamie reminds him that the King Shits and the Hand wipes, Ned returns by bringing up the fact Jaime is the Kingslayer, the guy who stabbed the old mad King when he should have been protecting him, and so Jamie adds that this is the very spot where the previous mad King had Ned’s father and brother horribly killed. So in the context Kingslaying really wasn’t such a dick move after all. Then he gets a crash course in bureaucracy with the small council, Lord Petyr Baelish master of coin, Grand Maester Pycelle, Lord Renly Baratheon the King’s younger brother and Varys, the master of whispers. So it turns out the King has been spending extravagantly like a madman and the crown is in big debt. Cersei gives horrible advice to her horrible son and tells him he must marry Sansa to lock down the North legitimately but can do whatever he wants otherwise. Because everybody that’s not us, is our enemy. And meanwhile Sansa and Arya still aren’t getting on so Ned reminds Arya that they need to stick together when they are surrounded by danger. He also gets her a swordmaster to teach her the Water Dance style and this guy Syrio Forel is quite the character. King Robert can be pretty mean guy when drinking and even he reminds Jamie about killing the previous King despite it stopping Aerys burning down the city. But never doubt Jaime can fight and he does have the respect of some of the other Kingsguard too. Much to her surprise Littlefinger meets Catelyn as she enters the city low-key to meet Ned because they used to be old friends back when they were kids. Varys knows all the secrets it seems but it’s Littlefinger that claims the dagger meant to kill Bran belonged to Tyrion Lannister. Who by the way is enjoying his lovely visit to the wall which is run by Commander Mormont (Jorah’s ded), a great deal more than Jon Snow is, who’s pretty much getting hazed solid by his instructor. And so even Tyrion has to step in to stop a beat down before reminding Jon that they haven’t all had his upbringing and that everybody might want to get along instead. And much to their credit they all seem to take his advice. Benjen reminds Tyrion that it’s not the Wildlings North of the wall that he and his rangers fear, it’s the threat of other darker things, but Tyrion doesn’t buy it even when Maester Aemon and the commander becry the need of the Night’s Watch for more trained men and support. So Tyrion takes a midnight piss from the top of the Wall because YOLO and leaves back for the South having earned Jon’s respect. Bran wakes from his coma and can’t use his legs anymore, but he also can’t remember what happened so for now he just has to listen to old Nan’s stories about fear and Whitewalkers and the Long Night when Kings were frozen in their castles. While over in the Khalasarr as they head for Vaes Dothrak, Jorah tells Dany that Khals are often given slaves from big cities as gifts in order to stop the cities from actually getting plundered and Dany orders everybody to stop so she can think on this and take a walk. Her stupid cruel brother Viserys flies off the handle at her for being given an order when he’s the King to be, and looses a lot of credit with the rest of the crowd, even with Jorah. You see unlike this dick, Dany is doing her best to learn the language and embrace the culture, and Ser Jorah is a travelled man who has earned the respect of the Dothraki, but once he hears news that Dany is pregnant, he suddenly has to leave for Qohor without explanation.
Game Of Thrones - Season 1 Review
Bran starts having weird dreams where he’s pestered by a 3 eyed raven, but has to get carried down to the Hall to say hi to Tryion and Yoren of the Night’s Watch as they pass through Winterfell en route to King’s Landing. Robb gives him a frosty reception but Tryion draws up plans for a special saddle that can allow Bran to still ride a horse. On his way out Tryion stops to give Theon a load of shit for essentially being a Greyjoy hostage and a Stark lackey before he goes off to get laid. On the Wall there’s a fat new recruit Sam Tarley the coward, but Jon’s not into hazing the new kids anymore and on the Wall itself Sam explains he’s always been craven to the point that his own dad threatened to have him killed if he didn’t join the Night’s Watch. And although some of the rougher new recruits still need reminding that it’s not cool to bully each other anymore, the point seems to get across. Jorah tells Dany that if the Dothraki ever made it to Westeros they could fight King Robert in the field but aren’t very good at sieges against castles. Viserys talks big to the bed slave about Dragons forging the Iron Throne, while she mentions seeing weird things like pirates and people who can change their faces (Ooo we’re gonna get back to that later) But Viserys spoils the mood and he then decides to go beat on Dany a bit for basically giving him gifts! But she’s finally had enough of his shit and slaps him one telling him to back off. So Jorah and Dany call it as it is, Old V-dog is not fit to rule and couldn’t lead the Dothraki army even if they were given to him. Back In the throne room Sansa is still pretty raw about Ned killing her Direwolf but Ned is even less happy as he struggles with the small council and their bureaucratic B.S. He enquires after the death of the last hand Jon Arryn and looks into the book he was studying before his suspicious sudden illness. Littlefinger explains to Ned that everyone has spies everywhere, and hints that Ned is onto something and offers up further information. But he does also warn Ned that distrusting him was the wisest thing he’d done so far. So Ned checks on a Smith’s apprentice called Gendry who Jon Arryn had also spoken to, and it looks like the former Hand had been taking an interest in all of King Robert’s bastard children. There’s a tourney being set up to celebrate Ned’s new position by command of the King, and Littlefinger dials up the creepy to perv on Sansa for a bit, but one of the guys Ned wanted to question in relation to John Arryn’s death is ‘accidentally’ killed by Ser Gregor Clegane, this dude is the Mountain that rides. He’s massive and dangerous and the older brother of the Hound. Things spice up at the inn where Catelyn heading back up North comes across Tyrion heading back down south, and on suspicion of trying to have Bran murdered she has him taken hostage by a mixed bag of local men loyal to the Starks. Tyrion’s all like- what? Day two of the tourney and Ser Loras Tyrell gives Sansa a rose even though she’s packing the wrong type of junk for his liking, and he then jousts against the Mountain who loses due to his horse getting the scent of a mare. But this guy is mental. So he cuts off his horses head, and then throws a beat-down on the Knight of Flowers until his brother the Hound jumps in to stop him. These guys have beef, and it was Ser Gregor who burned the Hound’s face as a kid. The Mountain storms off but Ser Loras praises the Hound and he clearly doesn’t know how to feel about being the good guy for once. Loras later tells Renly that maybe he should be the next King while they get it on, and Rob and Cersei both agree they hate each other and that their 17 years of marriage has been miserable. Meanwhile Catelyn’s mixed group of random knights and sellswords are taking Tyrion over to her syster Lysa in the Vale to be tried. Tyrion mentions that Lysa is a bit weird these days but they’re suddenly attacked by wild mountain clansmen. Instead of making a run for it he helps defend Catelyn and it also turns out one of the sellswords travelling with them is one hell of a killer. So they just about reach the Vale and yeah Lysa is pretty weird breastfeeding a son way too old for it ah that’s gross! And they slap Tyrion in one of the sky cells Down South Varys confides in Ned that Jon Arryn was poisoned, administered by the page who then got knighted and killed, but doesn’t say on who’s orders. Looks like the former Hand had started asking the wrong questions. But Varys’ motives are clouded. Because Arya is off chasing cats as part of her sword training and she ends up in an old part of the castle with dragon skulls and overhears and Varys and Magister Illyrio - Talking about the imminent war between Starks and Lannisters, but that it’s happening all too soon For Drogo’s army and the Targaryen kids to make use of it. Then Littlefinger and Varys have a who knows more secrets than who showdown, and it’s casually interrupted by Renly because Robert is fuming. He’s just heard that Dany is now pregnant and could be a threat to his kingdom, and it turns out Ser Jorah has been feeding the crown information in hopes of a pardon for his own crime of selling slaves.
Ned thinks child murder is a dick move but Robert really hates Targaryens and the council agree that the girl should die for the sake of the greater good. Ned quits and is on his way out, but Jaime has gotten wind of Catelyn kidnapping his brother, so he steps up and kills Ned’s number 2 guy and oh shit - It’s on! These two are both powerful swordsmen going at it but then this random prick sStabs Ned in the leg and spoils the moment for Jaime. So Jamie has left the capitol and Ned’s in bed with a broken leg and the King demands Tyrion’s release before things get worse. He reinstates Ned back as the Hand and goes off hunting to clear his mind – while he’s out there though his Lannister squire is making sure that he stays suspiciously drunk. In Bran’s dreams the three-eyed raven seems to want to show him something but Hodor, the big dumb friendly houseboy who can only say his own name -asterisk, turns up with that special saddle so he goes off into the woods for a ride with Robb and Theon. Theon tries to convince Robb to go to war with the Lannisters but bran is accosted by wildlings who try to steal his horse. Stark fights and Greyjoy shoots killing all but one who they take as a prisoner. Up in the Vale in the castle Eyrie Tyrion talks his way out of the cell to stand before an audience and demand trial by combat in response to the allegations. In a hall surrounded by enemies everybody’s up for killing a dwarf, But Tyrion’s risky bet pays off when the sellsword who was travelling with them steps up for sake of Lannister gold. This guy Bronn is a mean lean killing machine and wears down Lysa’s champion before the kill. The two of them say their goodbyes and start the dangerous journey home. In the sacred city of Vaes Dothrak, Dany is really getting into the idea of heating up those stone dragon eggs and realises that as a Targaryen she’s kinda immune to fire. She then eats a whole horse’s heart in ritual to prove the worth her unborn son. Who the witches now claim will be the stallion that mounts the world. Viserys gets super jelly and tries to sell her Dragon eggs to buy another army. Jorah says no, so instead he gets really drunk, demands that Khal Drogo win him the crown he was promised and threatens Dany’s unborn baby. This doesn’t go down so well so Drogo gives him a crown molten gold right then and there. It seems that since leaving King’s Landing the Mountain has been raping and pillaging the Riverlands with his men, and the smallfolk seek justice from Ned while the King is away. Ned sends Lord Beric Dondarrion and a force of men to bring him to justice, but he knows that it’s probably head of House Lannister, Lord Tywin who’s really giving the orders. Joffrey plays the charming card on Sansa who laps it up and promises she will be queen someday. But sensing danger and impending war Ned tells his girls they’re going home. Sansa blurts out about wanting golden haired children with Joffrey and the penny drops. That book Jon Arryn was reading was all about Baratheon lineage, describing black hair every time just like Gendry and the King’s other bastards. Looks like these Lannister gold children are not the King’s own blood after all. In the field Lord Tywin Lannister gives his son Jamie grief for leaving Ned alive, but also gives him command of half of their forces in the upcoming war, as family name is everything to Tywin. Stupid old honourable Ned tells Cersei that he knows about her incest children and that King Robert will go berserk when he’s back from the hunt. Instead of fleeing the city however the Queen is just like yeah so what, I play the game of thrones to win or die. On the wall they’ve passed their training. So the new recruits say their vows in front of a heart tree and become Brothers of the Night’s Watch. But instead of being made a ranger John is made a steward to the Lord Commander. He really wanted to scout beyond the wall because Jon’s Uncle Benjen is missing now from a Northern ranging, with only his horse returning. But Sam tells him to wise up and realise he’s likely being groomed for command. Once their vows are done though his direwolf Ghost finds the dead bodies of two other Black Brothers who also went out with Benjen. On their travels the Khalsar visits a market, and Jorah in secret receives his pardon from the crown. But he’s really into Dany by now and despite being a spy doesn’t want her dead. So when a suspicious travelling merchant offers Dany a cask of poisoned wine, Jorah makes him take a sip of it first, saving her life. And oddly it’s this very assassination attempt that angers Drogo enough to finally turn his wandering army around and head back towards Westeros to take the crown in revenge. Robert is back from the hunt, but he was so drunk that he got mortally wounded by a boar and now he’s dying. He decrees that Ned be in charge of the Kingdom when he’s gone until Prince Joffrey comes of age. On a technicality Ned actually writes down ‘rightful heir’ instead of Joffrey and Ser Bariston Selmy, commander of the Kingsguard laments not protecting the king. Renly advises Ned to make a move against Cersei immediately. But Ned is stubborn and all about the rules and knows that Stannis, Renly’s older and oddly absent brother is next in line as King. So he sends word to Dragonstone to tell Stannis it’s time to step up. Everyone tells Ned he’s being naïve, and Ned mentions that the royal children are bastards,
Game Of Thrones - Season 1 Review
and that he needs Littlefinger’s help in making sure the City Guard are on his side when the shit goes down. Problem - Littlefinger still fancies Catelyn and holds a grudge against the Starks since the days of his childhood, a guy like him can’t win by the rules of swords, but can win by screwing over people with commerce and politics, so he agrees to have Ned’s back - But when the time comes and Ned and his men step into the throne room to declare Joffrey a bastard without claim, the City Guard turn around and kill his own men, with Ned being taken prisoner. So things didn’t really go down as planned. Across the capitol Lannisters are suddenly Killing Starks, and Sansa runs for her room where she’s caught by the Hound. Arya is in the middle of a sword fighting lesson however and Syrio Forel isn’t convinced about handing her over. So he gives her his final lesson and sweeps up the trash before sacrificing himself. Like if you cry every time. In the chaos and turmoil, Arya grabs Needle, kills a stable-boy and escapes the castle into the city by a secret passage she found when chasing cats. Ned’s slapped in the black cells and all his men are dead. And In a dick move Cersei and the new King dismiss the Barriston Selmy from the Kingsguard, and he’s not impressed. Renly too has fled the capitol, but Cersei and the rest of the small council coheres Sansa into writing a letter to Robb telling him to come down and swear loyalty to King Joffrey. Robb’s gonna come South alright, but he’s going to take the armies of the North with him. He callshis banners of the North together and Greatjon Umber takes a little bit of convincing to follow the young Lord, but after a wolf bite or two becomes Robb’s staunchest supporter. So he goes to war technically leaving Bran in charge at Winterfell. Their wildling captive Osha, has kind of fallen into place working round the castle and talks to Bran about truths and hearing the old gods and the winter threat beyond the wall. In the Castle Eyrie Catelyn is unhappy that Lysa won’t back her up with the knights of the Vale if the Starks go to war. She seems to fear conflict with the Lannisters and is essentially useless. And mean whilst heading home from there, Tyrion and Bronn are accosted by the same mountain clansmen who gave them grief on the way in, but Tyrion’s power is his wit and his words and he manages to talk them into escorting them safely back to the Lannister army, promising them the weapons that they need to take the Vale for themselves. Because screw those guys. On the Wall there’s something odd about those ranger corpses found near the Heart Tree. The odd thing being that they’re actually undead. They rise up in the middle of the night and attack Jon and the Lord Commander. They don’t die by traditional means but they do thankfully burn well. Across the sea Drogo’s Khalasar is on the warpath now, and heading back West, and it’s raping and pillaging and taking slaves to sell on to pay for ships. Dany doesn’t like the cruel truth of this and puts a stop to the raping by claiming all of the women. Drogo is amused but some of his men aren’t, so he kills this mug and takes a wound that one of the spared women, a healer by trade, offers to patch up in gratitude to Dany. Catelyn meets up with Robb’s army in the Riverlands planning for war, and Tyrion meets up with Tywin’s army to say hi to his dad and uncle, bringing the mountain clansmen along with him. Tywin never misses an opportunity and gets the clansman to fight for him alongside Tyrion in the upcoming battle. Robb is marching South but needs to cross the river at The Twins. This place is owned by the vulture Walder Frey, who is technically on their side but really only looks out for himself. He agrees to the crossing and joining the war but only so long as Robb marries one of his many daughters. A shit deal for Robb but off they cross in full force. For protecting him against zombies the Lord Commander gives Jon with his Valyrian steel sword, but Jon finds out about his brother going to war for his father and wants to desert and help. Thankfully his other new brothers of the watch convince him to stay and follow duty. And it turns out Maester Aemon was in fact Targaryen Royalty who also chose the hard path of remaining on the Wall. Tyrion and the tribesmen are going in the front lines and it seems that Tywin isn’t too worried about Tyrion’s survival in general which kills his appetite. It comes back pretty quickly though as Bronn has found him a cheeky little whore called Shae who has a quick wit to match his. But beware like Bronn the sellsword this is very much a business situation for her. Next day they join the battle. Tyrion gets knocked out pretty early but it turns out they won. But this is because it wasn’t the full Stark army heading down to fight but just 1/10th of the force as a diversion. Robb had led the rest of the force in a surprise attack that took Jamie Lannister’s force and the Kingslayer himself captive. Turns out that despite being treated Drogo’s wound did not heal at all and has in fact festered. He falls from his horse, and it’s too late even for the healer to help him now. She does further mention however that she’s also trained in blood magic as a Magei. Desperate, Dany consents to some dark sacrifice shit and this really splits the crowd forcing
Game Of Thrones - Season 1 Review
Jorah to Kill a Bloodrider while Dany suddenly goes into premature labour. Jorah unwisely takes her to the Magei for further help. In the black cells Ned wants to stick to the honourable truth but Varys convinces him to recant his accusations against Joffrey because making sure that his children aren’t harmed is a kind of honourable thing to do too. So Ned aggress to say he was wrong for the sake of family. Arya is living like a hobo in the city and joins the crowd to see Ned, Cersei and the King put on a show, with Ned as the traitor villain. He spies his daughter and manages to put Yoren on to her in passing and Cersei and co. promise Sansa that they’ll let Ned live for his confession and join the Nights Watch. But Joffrey is cruel to the core and demands his head anyway. Yoren makes Arya look away when it happens, and everyone including us come to realise that anyone can die in this show. Yoren is rough but his gameplan is to pretend Arya is a boy entering the Night’s Watch and to sneak her back to Winterfell. ‘Arry’ will be travelling up with the other criminals but Gendry has been sent to join the watch too. In Bran’s dream the three-eyed raven leads to the crypts, so he real life heads down with Osha and talks of dreaming of Ned being there. Seems Rickon had the same dream too, before Maester Luwin receives official word of his death. Catelyn and Robb also grieve at the loss of Ned, swearing vengeance on the Lannisters. But Catelyn wants to make sure Sansa and Arya are back safe too. Word on the street is that Renly is now also now laying claim to the throne, ahead of his older brother Stannis. But while they’re all together the Northern Lords suggest Robb might as well be King of North, essentially breaking Westeros into two kingdoms. In captivity Jamie admits pushing Bran out the window but doesn’t say exactly why. Tywin and his war council talk of how both Baratheon brothers are now claiming the throne as next in line, and Tyrion adds that all chances of peace with the North (who are now winning), were ruined when Joff decided to kill Ned. Tywin tells Tyrion that he might have underestimated his other son and that he’s sending him to King’s Landing as Hand of the king to basically run things and keep Joffrey and Cersei in line. But adds he’s not allowed to take his whore along with him, because these some bad history there. But screw that- Tyrion is gonna take her anyway. In the capitol we get an odd insight into Grand Maester Pycelle not truly being as old and doddering as he might appear. And another moment between Varys and Littlefinger, they both separately seem to be orchestrating some big secret schemes. Meanwhile Joffrey is having fun cutting off people’s tongues, but stops for a moment to force Sansa to come and take a look at the severed head of her father. Mother says he’s still to marry Sansa and shouldn’t hit her. So he has the Kingsguard hit her instead. It looks like she’s about to push Joffrey off the ledge but the Hound intervenes making it seem to tend to her cut. Commander Mormont reports of talk of the wildlings North of the wall forming a massive army, and even more tell of the dead walking. This shit is far more important than Kings going to war, so he announces he’s leading the Night’s Watch North into wildling territory to discover what’s going on. Dany wakes from the awful night and Jorah tells her she lost the child. The Magei adding that it was born monstrous and twisted, a lizard boy full of grey worms. This was the price of death to pay for Drogo’s life. But it gets worse, all of the Khalasar army except the stragglers have left, and Drogo is technically alive but otherwise braindead and sightless. The sorceress admits that this was all part of her plan to stop Dany’s child being the Stallion that mounts the world, and saving countless people from future war. So Dany in tears puts Drogo out of his misery and builds a pyre to burn the body along with the Sorceress, her eggs and herself. Jorah pleads for her not to commit suicide, but that’s not actually Dany’s plan. Through the fires of sacrifice she emerges unscathed, her eggs all hatched, and surrounded by three Dragons. Oh my God! So Ned’s dead, the North is at war with the South, and as well as Stark V Lannister Robert’s two other brothers are somewhere claiming the throne as well. Joffrey rules with cruelty keeping Sansa hostage, and Tyrion heading over for damage limitation. Jamie is captured and Arya is pretending to be a boy amongst criminals. While Jon is marching North of the wall and thanks to Dany, Dragons live once again.
Game Of Thrones - Season 1 Review
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